Ebenezer

...Scrooge that is. I'm feeling just like him. I think I might need my own personal A Christmas Carol. The holidays so far have been sad. I'm just feeling all the excitement this year. I even debated taking down all the Christmas Decorations because my Mom is not here to enjoy it with me. I've decided to leave them all up for the kids. I've abandoned one of our family traditions this year, just because I'm not feeling it this year. The kids are so excited! It's the first year that both of them totally and completely understand what Santa is and how he works, so you'd think I'd be more excited but I'm just not. Hopefully I can snap out of this soon for the kids sake.

Grieving

Today has been one of those days that really makes you think. It hit me today that everyone really does grieve differently.

After the devastating loss of my Mother I find myself bring stronger than I ever thought I could be. It's amazing how well I'm doing actually, given my depression and other death issues. It it still a struggle to get up every morning and convince myself to be a mother and a wife. It takes making a chore list like a kid has for me to get household stuff taken care of, but I am coping the only way I know how. Others who shall remain nameless are moving way too fast through the grieving process for my liking. My Mom was and is the most amazing woman I have ever known and I don't understand how people can just move on so fast.

It really hurts to know that people are already forgetting her. My goal for my children is that they never forget her.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to vent.

FHE

Last Sunday we decided to head down to the Cemetary and have FHE with Grandma. It was great to be so close to her. Ths kids love to go visit Grandma and tell her what's going on in our lives.

Balloons

We decided to get balloons every year on Grandma's Birthday and write messages on them for her. It really helps the kids understand and remember.

 San Diego Grandkids

 Kissing the balloons

 Letting go

 Watching them fly

Watching them disappear into the sky

It was an amazing experience to see even the little ones excited about sending balloons to Grandma for her Birthday. We love you Grandma!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Mom! In memory we're going to have Churro's from Churro's El Tigre for dessert tonight. I hope your having a great day with Hayden and your Mom. Love you!

Missing You

Wow, what a crazy 6 weeks it's been! We've all missed you so much and are learning to cope without you here with us. I know your still here because I can feel you near me and the kids. They ask about you every so often and then they remember that you are with Hayden and Grandma Sugar. How will I ever explain to them how much you loved them?